Malam Idul Fitri..

Allahu akbar..Allahu akbar..Allahu akbar..
Lailahailallahu wallahuakbar..
Allahu akbar walillahilhamd..

Takbir di malam Idul Fitri ini kerasa lebih bermakna.. karena takbir nya cuma berasal dari speaker laptop atau harus dilafazkan dengan mulut sendiri. ga ada suara bedug, ga ada suara takbir dari mikrofon mesjid, ga ada kembang api, ga ada acara2 takbiran di tv, ga ada keluarga di sekeliling yang ikut takbir atau sibuk menyiapkan idul fitri.. yang ada cuma temen2 di corridor yang bahkan have no idea apa itu idul fitri, yg ada suara musik yang kenceng banget dari kamar sebelah, yg ada cuma gw sendiri di kamar ini..

Ketika melantunkan kalimat2 puji2an kepada Allah ini malah ingatan lebaran di rumah yang ada di pikiran gw. tapi alhamdulillah gw bisa gw menarik pikiran gw lagi untuk fokus. Idul fitri bukan tentang itu semua. takbir yang gw lafazkan ini pun bukan nya hanya untuk mengingatkan akan kenangan lebaran di rumah. tidak seharusnya gw lafazkan takbir ini dengan begitu ringan. tanpa ada getaran di hati ketika memuji dan mengesakan Allah. Lafaz ini adalah puji2an untuk Allah, untuk menyadari betapa kecilnya kita di hadapanNya, untuk bersumpah bahwa hanya Dia lah yang patut untuk disembah, lafaz untuk sebuah kesaksian diri, lafaz untuk sebuah peringatan akan diri sendiri, lafaz untuk sebuah momentum agar dapat kembali ke fitrahnya..

Allahu akbar.. Allahu akbar.. Allahu akbar..
Maha besar Engkau ya Allah.. ternyata melafazkan takbir di negara yang minoritas muslim ini, ketika jauh dari keluarga malah memberikan makna yang lebih dalam daripada takbir2 di malam2 idul fitri sebelum ini.. alhamdulillah =)

My dreams..

I have a dream. yeap..since long time ago. Gw yakin akan mimpi itu, gw punya gambaran yg jelas dan gw udah mencoba menyiapkan langkah-langkah yang harus gw ambil supaya bisa meraih mimpi itu. Hingga sampai saat ini, jalan yang sekarang gw ambil adalah untuk mencapai keinginan itu. Mimpi itu adalah sebuah keinginan besar dalam hidup gw dan gw udah melalui tahapan-tahapan dalam hidup gw untuk meraih itu. pengalaman-pengalaman gw, termasuk pengalaman pahit yang gw yakin semuanya untuk membuat gw semakin kuat dan tegar supaya ketika gw dapat meraih mimpi itu gw bisa menghargai mimpi itu. supaya ketika gw udah meraih mimpi itu gw akan menghargai setiap titik keringat, usaha, doa dan air mata gw ketika berjuang untuk mewujudkan mimpi itu. Tapi akhir-akhir ini sepertinya gw agak melenceng dari mimpi itu. Tujuan gw masih sama, goal yang pengen gw raih masih sama. Tapi terkadang gw lupa, terkadang gw masih mengeluh kenapa harus sesulit ini. Gw lupa dengan mimpi itu. Gw lupa kenapa gw harus berjuang dengan susah payah seperti sekarang. And even worse, gw ngerasa ada kemunduran dalam mentality gw sendiri untuk mencapai mimpi itu. Dan pagi ini gw ngebuka2 profil friendster salah satu temen gw di KL. Gw ngeliat2 foto2nya, dia upload foto2nya di setiap special event of his life. And i can say, all the special events were great achievements! Gw ikut seneng ngeliat profile nya dan foto2nya dia. Dan tiba2 gw tersadar, i have my own dream. And looking at his profile and photos remind me of my dream. He hasnt achieved his dream, but he is really sure of it and he really well prepared for the dream and really is in the right track to achieve the dream. Dia mungkin belum mencapai mimpi nya, karena gw tau persis apa mimpi nya dia, apa keinginannya dia walaupun gw ga deket ama dia, walaupun dia ga pernah melontarkan keinginan tersebut ke gw. And what about me? what about my dream? Once upon a time, we have the same dream. Well, gw ama dia ga pernah terlibat hubungan secara emosional, not at all. I even rarely meet him. tapi gw tau kita pernah punya mimpi yang sama. and even the path that we took were the same. Tapi ngeliat dia sekarang, he still stick to his dream and make great achievements with it. But again.. what about me? I know the path i'm takin now, every steps i take, will lead me to where i want to be. But again, kayanya gw sering lupa ama goal gw itu. Gw terlalu terbuai dengan keadaan sekarang yg ngebuat gw lupa menyiapkan dan meningkatkan mentality gw untuk mengejar mimpi itu. And thank God, when i look at his friendster profile, i am reminded to stick to my goal, to improve myself to achieve it.

Tapi sebenernya gw mulai agak2 nyadar tentang "melenceng" nya gw dari mimpi ini. gw juga figure out kenapa gw terlihat agak melenceng dari mimpi gw itu. Itu karena gw punya goal lain dalam hidup gw. Intinya, gw punya dua mimpi besar dalam hidup gw, yang sebenernya gw bisa achieve keduanya sekaligus kalau gw bener2 put a high effort on them. Tapi masalahnya, untuk mencapai kedua mimpi itu, gw ga bisa sendirian. well of course i cant do it all on my own to achieve them, pasti akan selalu ada orang-orang yang berperan. Tapi maksud gw, selain ada "tangan Allah" di atas tangan gw, gw bener2 perlu someone's role to help me achieve it. Dan pada kenyataannya sekarang, keadaan gw agak2 sulit untuk bisa achieve keduanya bersamaan. It seems like i have to let go one of it, which is very difficult for me to choose. Bisa aja gw sedikit memaksakan keadaan sekarang supaya gw bisa achieve keduanya, tp itu akan amat susah as well as menimbulkan ketimpangan dlm hidup gw. Well, life cant always be what we expect it to be. And life is full of options. Even if you dont choose any, it's another option. Gw ga mau muluk-muluk. gw ga pengen terlalu berharap. I've put so much hope on something once, and when i fell, it damn hurt. And i wont repeat the same mistake.. well i'm trying not to be.. But it's true that " if you dont put so much hope, If you're not flying high, you cant see the beautiful view" But i'm clueless. Gw cuma berdoa, kalo emang rezeki gw, semoga diberikan jalan supaya lancar dan ga ada rintangan. Gw bener2 pengen ngedapetin kedua mimpi itu. But i have learnt that no matter how good things for me, Allah knows better. Walopun mimpi-mimpi itu terlihat begitu indah buat gw dan gw bener2 pengen ngedapetinnya, tapi Allah lebih tau apa yang terbaik buat gw. Dan gw ga mau jadi hambaNya yang mempertanyakan takdir. I've learnt that no matter how bad something happened to me, even i felt like the sky was falling down on me, but now i'm looking back and cant help but smile and feel so blessed that Allah really loves me.. begitu juga dengan mimpi-mimpi ini.. mimpi-mimpi ini ga cuma duniawi, maksud gw, emang kelihatan duniawi, tapi tujuan gw untuk mencapai kedua mimpi ini tidak lain hanyalah mengharapkan ridha Allah. Yg gw pengen, pada akhirnya, ketika gw bisa meraih mimpi2 itu, gw akan menjadi hambaNya yang lebih bersyukur. .. that's it.. =)

Happy n Sad..two sides of life..

Happiness and Sadness. They come to life back and forth. One after another. Everyone has feel it, everyone experienced both of them. But what about feel both at the same time? I did. Yesterday. When i got 3 sms in my handphone last evening. 2 were from Rima, the other 1 from Munie. Rima told me a shocking news. Aie had accident and he would be operated last night at 10 pm. He hitted by a car while riding Bayu's motorcycle. And the damn driver just ran away without being responsible of what he/she did * i guess it's a he =p* I am kinda worry since he is one of my best friend and he hitted by a car!!! and would be operated!! i replied to rima asked about his condition as well as to some other Indo-uniten to get update bout him. Rima sent me some updates bout him n made my worried disappear a bit since she told me that he didnt faint but his right leg is broken though. It is bad! but he didnt faint. so it's not as bad as i imagine it is.

The other message was from Munie. She told me that her sister delivered a healthy baby boy!!! Both son and mother are in good condition although Kak Idda has to be operated, so it was not a normal delivery. But both are fine, what else can you expect? alhamdulillah.. so happy to know it. munie has 2 nephews now. oww.. that's cool.. i imagine what would i feel if i were her. my nephew or niece will call me "tante rika" *Tante???? sounds soOo old!!!*well.. that's a good news.
After reading the 3 sms, i kept silent for a moment. Think. Do i have to be happy or sad? I got good news as well as bad news. And how come both of them come at the same time?? I mean.. it really was at the same time! Well, i guess i just went through another phase of life or a lesson of life. When i have to adjust my emotions accordingly. well.. for aie, i always pray that you get well soon. lebaran is around the corner my dear! but who can deny the destiny? you get better soon is good enough, maybe it's just test from Allah that you have to take the lesson behind *reminds me of how i fell from my bike 2 weeks ago* and for Munie, congrats! Send my regards to ur parents and to the happy couple, kak ida n bang jijan. well, 2 little boy at home.. that is fantastic!! :D

i just...hate it..

i hate it when i think i'm against everybody..
i hate it when i have to use my rational rather than follow my heart..
i hate it when the situation is out of my control..
i hate it when i cant speak my hearts out..
i hate it when i think nobody can understand me..
i hate it when i'm confused and seems like there's no way out..
i hate it when i must make a right-important-unchangeable decision..
i hate it when i should hurt myself..
i hate it when i have to pretend like everything is fine..
i hate it when all i can do is jealous and knowing that i cant do anything to fix my situation..
i hate it when i imagine that i have to let my dreams fade away..
i just.. hate it..when everything seems not right..

Happy Tuesday..

photographed by Rika

photographed by Bayu

i have a great tuesday last week. my special guest was finally here all the way from the northern part of denmark =D he arrive here in early morning, around 6.30 am but since i have class at 8, so i just drag him into my tutorial class for Digital Communication. So he should do some of the questions too. heheh..

after my class, we were hang around the city, did windows shopping, sitting in the park and even in the church!! :P *it was because the wheather is soOo damn cold and windy outside! so we decide to have a sightseeing to the church while chit chat in the bench of the church :P

we actually wanna took some photos in the city. but both of us were so tired of walking along the downtown. so we aint took any, but those two photos at the park in front of International Office of Lunds Universitet :P

it was a happy day for me. it really was. and i really look forward for the coming of my special guest in the really near future ^_^

Ga jatoh, Ga Belajar.. Really???

Kata orang.. ga jatuh tuh ga belajar.. kadang kita harus jatuh dulu supaya belajar dan bangkit dari keterpurukan itu.. tp kalo jatuhnya dari sepeda gmana??? apanya yang mo dipelajarin???

jadi critanya gw ke kampus naik sepeda hari ini, as usual.. tp krn bawa laptop, gw bawa tas ransel. dan berhubungan sepeda gw itu blom ada keranjangnya, tas nya di jepit aja di kursi belakang.. biasanya jg gt, cuma hari ini kynya jepitnya rada beda, dan talitas nya gw iket di bawah seat supaya ga jatoh.. dan dengan memasang ipod di kuping, mulai lah gw ngegenjot sepeda diiringi lagu my chemical romance. somewhere along the way, deket jalan blotungasvagen, gw ngerasa tas gw rada2 miring nih.. ya gw pengen berhenti ngebenerin, tapi blom sempet gw berhenti, tas nya dah miring bangettt. jadi gw pegangin pake tangan kiri, which is a mistake.. gmana caranya gw mo berhenti sekarang kalo tangan kiri gw megangin tas, padahal rem nya da di stang yang kiri?? bisa sih ngerem pake kaki, jadi pedalnya di balik ke belakang gt, tapi keadaan gw sangat tidak seimbang buat ngerem pake pedal. gw sempet mikir "it's either me or my laptop!!!" ya tentu saja gw masih sayang diri gw sendiri, jadi gw lepas aja tas nya, biar deh laptopnya jatoh, masih bisa beli.. and i forgot that i tied the bag to the seat!!! jadi begitu tas nya jatoh, otomatis sepeda gw juga jadi kebawa ga seimbang. gw mo ngerem tapi kaki gw nyangkut di tiang sepeda gw.. akhirnya gedubrak!!! gw mendarat di tanah dengan posisi *maaf* pantat mendarat duluan. itu yah.. cuma Allah ama gw aja yang tau sakitnya kaya apa..!! dan gw duduk diem aja, gw ngerasa ada mobil ngerem di belakang gw, maybe the driver wanted to help if i need anything, tapi boro2 mo ngeliat dia.. di pikiran gw cuma gmana cara gw bisa berdiri, and i did it! gw berdiri dan ngambil tas gw, gw jepit lagi di bangku belakang.. and i can hear the car was off.. and i actually feel a bit sorry not even look at the driver, maybe he just wanted to help and make sure that i was okay, but why didnt i even turn around and look at him, give a smile so that he knows that i'm fine???

trus gw pun kembali menggenjot sepeda gw dengan rasa sakit di p****t.. kerasa ada yang aneh nih dengan tulang ekor gw, tapi cuek lah.. sebenernya gw mo ke kota tadi, mo ke operator 3 buat nanya ttg skype phone.. tp it seemed impossible harus ke kota dan harus nyari2 toko itu, jadi walaupun masih jauh kampus gw, mo balik ke rumah nanggung, mo lanjut ke kampus juga sakit.. jd daripada jatuh nya gw sia2, mending gw ke kampus aja.
dan di kampus gw menemukan beberapa kesulitan akibat jatoh dari sepeda ituhh.. contohnya jalannya agak2 tertatih2.. ketemu temen2 pun ngomong nya agak2 ngaco.. ya iyalah. orang gw sebenernya miris nahan sakit.. dan bahkan buat nyolokin power laptop gw pun gw ga sanggup. soalnya di kampus gw tuh plug nya semua di langit2, jadi kalo mo nyolokin power tuh yah kudu naek kursi dulu.. dan tadi gw coba naek kursi, tapi ternyata emang plug dan kursi itu diciptain buat orang swedia. orang asia kaya gw mah ga nyampe ke langit2nya.. gw pun bengong..masa naek meja??? bukan apa2, gw sih hajar aja kalo mo naek meja.. tapi tulang ekor gw ini apa kabar..akhirnya gw turun dari kursi, pake komputer di studiecentrum aja.. eh ternyata tiba2 datang cowo swedish gt, ngomong apa gw ga tau pake swedish.. trus gw blg "sorry?" n dia blg lagi pk english kalo dia mo bantuin gw nyolokin powernya di langit2.. huhu.. sayah sangat terharu.. masih ada orang baik di dunia ini *halah*.. tapi ternyata setelah laptop nya nyala..sama aja, gw ga inget userID gw buat wireless connection di kampus.. and i end up using the computer that be provided in that place =p tapi second problem is coming, gmana caranya gw narik lagi si power itu?? *menyebalkan emang* dan lagi2 tiba2 ada 2 cowo swedia dateng ke meja gw mo belajar disitu.. ya gw sih silakan2 aja kalo mo share meja..gw juga mo cabut make komputer, tapi apa kabar dengan power gw..?? gw masih terbengong2 sambil ngeliatin langit2 pas tiba2 dateng cowo ketiga, temennya 2 orang ini blg " i can take it off for you" gw langsung cengar cengir sambil blg "thank you! thank you!" heheh.. alhamdulillah.. ternyata selaen ramah, orang sini juga pengertian :Ddan yang paling mantep adalah pas gw mo sholat.. ternyataaa.. pas sujud dan berdiri dari sujud itu sakitnya muanteppp, jadinya gw sholatnya duduk gituh..waahhh ky orang sakit beneran..!! *ya emang :P

nah.... saat yang paling membingungkan adalaaahh.. gimana caranya gw pulang?? naek speda, masih sakit.. naek bus trus sepedanya ditinggalin?? sama aja nyumbangin sepeda gw ke pencuri itu mah.. atau jalan sambil digiring sepedanya? jauh gila.. ya udah akhirnya dengan keyakinan setengah2 gw pun memutuskan naik sepeda aja.. yaa tahan2 lah sakit dikit.. bismillah ajaaa.. dan alhamdulillah pas pulang tuh kerasa ringan aja, emang sih kerasa sakit gt, tapi ga sakit banget.. dan beda ama hari2 sebelumnya, gw sama sekali ga ngerasa cape pas pulang.. weird huh?? dan pas gw lagi terbengong2 ama fenomena ini *halah* gw baru inget, i think i know why i fell from the bike this morning. itu karena.. gw ga baca doa pas mo pergi!! ok, mgkn sounds cliche. but it really is true for me. Since the day i can remember, gw kalo keluar rumah ga baca doa dan ayat kursi, pasti nyetir atau hati gw ga tenang. pasti ada aja, ampir nabrak lah atau gelisah gt. nahhh.. kynya dah bbrp hari ini gw tuh keluar rumah ga baca doa.. gw ngerasa sih bbrp hr ga tenang gt pas bw sepeda, tapi gw lupa.. haduh haduh.. dan kbetulan temen gw ada yang post bulletin board makna ayat kursi. yaaa.. sharing aja dikit nih, because everything seems coincidence..ga ada yang gw ada2in.. jadi gw share aja disini..hope it useful or be a reminder..

1) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi apabila berbaring di tempat tidurnya, Allah SWT mewakilkan dua orang Malaikat memeliharanya hingga subuh.

2) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi di akhir setiap sembahyang Fardhu, dia akan berada dlm lindungan Allah SWT hingga sembahyang yang lain.

3) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi di akhir tiap sembahyang,tidak menegah akan dia daripada masuk syurga kecuali maut dan barang siapa membacanya ketika hendak tidur, Allah SWT memelihara akan dia ke atas rumahnya, rumah jirannya dan ahli rumah-rumah disekitarnya.

4) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi di akhir tiap2 sembahyang fardhu, Allah SWT menganugerahkan dia setiap hati orang yg bersyukur,setiap perbuatan orang yg benar, pahala nabi2 serta Allah melimpahkan padanya rahmat.

5) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi sebelum keluar rumahnya, maka Allah SWT mengutuskan 70,000 Malaikat kepadanya - mereka semua memohon keampunan dan mendoakan baginya.

6) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi di akhir sembahyang Allah SWT akan mengendalikan pengambilan rohnya dan dia adalah seperti orang yang berperang bersama Nabi Allah sehingga mati syahid.

7) Barang siapa yang membaca ayat Al-Kursi ketika dalam kesempitan nescaya Allah SWT berkenan memberi pertolongan kepadanya.


nah lo!!! ngebaca point yang no 5 itu jadi ky explain what happened to me.. mgkn juga karena gw ga baca doa tuuh.. ckckck..

malemnya, pas gw cerita ke mas bas dan kak dina, they ask me to go to Bu Annie. bu annie ini tetangga gw, orang indo yang jago massage.. jadi gw telp lah si bu annie. dia langsung menyambut dengan suara khasnya:

Bu Annie: " kenapa ga pernah maen kesiniiiii???"

Gw: "heheh..iya buu.. ini mo maen kok bentar lagi..hehhe.. ada pasien ga bu?"

Bu Annie: "iyaa.. ini ada pasien. setengah jam lagi selese kok.kesini yaaa"

Gw: "heheh..iya bu.. rika jadi pasien selanjutnya ya bu.."

akhirnya jadilah gw maen ke rumah dia dan langsung menjadi pasien. malu juga sih gw, jarang maen ke rumahnya,sekali maen minta dipijat. kayanya kalo ga jatuh gw masih nanti2 tuh ke rumahnya dia..dan emang pijatan bu annie tuh mantep, slaen mijat, dia juga bisa tau dari urat2 gw kalo di perut gw ada angin, harus dikeluarin, atau dia tau gw kurang minum air.. dia bahkan tau kalo gw lagi banyak pikiran!!! ckckck.. tukang urut bisa punya sixth sense ternyata =p

pas pulang dari rumah bu annie, lg jalan gt gw mikir.. ternyata dari jatoh sepeda ini banyak juga hikmahnya. gw jadi ga bakal lagi nunda2 beli keranjang * barang yang penting! dan ternyata gw suka nunda2 kerjaan*, gw jadi lbh ngerti behaviour orang2 swedish *they never get too personal with you, but they are helpful*, trus gw jadi diingatkan biar ga lupa baca doa dan ayat kursi lagi kalo keluar rumah dan juga gw jadi bisa bersilaturrahmi ke rumah tetangga sendiri.. so, who said that jatuh sepeda tuh ga belajar??? i really learn a lot from it!!! ;)

Sorry..

Ku bukan seorang pembohong
Ku wanita biasa
Ku tak maksud menyakitimu..kau yang menunggu lama

Maaf, maafkanlah aku
Ku tak maksud menghentikan langkahmu untuk masuk ke hidupku
Jangan engkau lupa masa-masa indah kita berdua

Bernyanyilah di tengah dinginnya air mata..
Jadi inilah selamat tinggal
Jadi pergilah engkau

*song by Nidji- Engkau

reminiscence..

this is the 4th day of ramadhan. dan gw ga sahur hari ini.. karenaaa... ketiduran!! :P alesannya cliche banget ya.. tp emang bener..!! gw kebangun gara2 hp gw bunyi, dari ring tone nya juga gw dah tau siapa yang nelpon =p dengan suara berat gw angkat telp nya, n dia nanya"oh, kamu dah tidur ya? sorii sori.." gw rada2 heran, ngapain juga dia minta maap, biasanya juga dia ngebangunin buat sahur.. kok hari ini pake acara minta maap segala.. trus gw blg "iya gpp.. mank sekarang jam berapa sih?" "jam 5.20" whaaaattt??? subuh kan jam 4.20!! hiyyaaa.. dengan suksesnya gw ga sahur.. untung aja ga ada kelas hari ini. but i have to go out today!! mo ke bank, mo ke rumah baru buat beres2 barang.. oh tidak! oh tidak! bagaimana ini?? apakah saya dapat bertahan??? *berlebihan! =p* tp mikir2 lagi, ga papa lah.. kaya ga biasa aja puasa ga sahur.. but it takes 16 hours to fast in here during this autumn! and plus gw ga sahur, berarti terakhir makan tuh jam 9 malem.. it means that i have to fast 23 hours!! hiihi.. lama juga yah,.. ya ga usah dipikirin berapa jam nya lah, jalanin aja.. paling nambah kurus..*amiiinn* hehe..

well tadi juga pas lagi tetelponan ama dia di skype,tiba2 babun a.k.a zami sms.. ksian dia, udah beberapa hari ini ngsms gw isinya melow2 semua.. mulai dari pas dia keingetan gw terus sejak dia pergi ke warung makan yang di bangi *tempat kami nongkrong for hours pas lagi nge-binding thesis* trus tiba2 pagi ini dia ngsms lagi dengan isi melow2 juga.. huhu..

sebenernya gw juga kangeeennn banget ama temen2 gw.. apalagi setelah ngebaca blog indo uniten, dengan background music seperti itu, makin aja bikin gw mewek2 pagi2 kemaren.. dan saya menyalahkan rima!! karena telah membuat postingan dan background music yang begitu menyayat hati *halah halah* apalagi ngebaca posting yang pas kita karaokean tangal 16 mei itu.. ya ampuuunnn itu lucu banget sih hari ituu.. udah lah sholat maghrib di kantor polisi!!! =p ide gila si rian itu, tp bagus juga sih, soalnya bener2 ga nemu mesjid =p dan keingetan pas lagi karaoke lagu ratu,si rian ama si rio joget2 *well semuanya joget denk, dengan gaya norak!!!* dan gw ga inget siapa ituh yang karaoke lagu inul.. pokoknya yang liriknya " kang dadaaangg.. paling kasep..!! saya suka akang.. suka sekali..!! dan noraknya semua orang ikutan nyanyi..!! =p *btw i sing this song when i was at home in Jakarta, and my mom was shocked!! how come her litlle girl sing a dangdut song!! lagunya inul pulak!! pake gaya juga lagi!! =p

trus ngeliat video yang di burn ama munie, pas gila2an pake video cam dia..mulai dari adegan2 ga penting di rumah yang menunjukkan betapa messy nya rumah M2-3-7 kami dulu * we used to call it rumah hantu.. saking berantakannya!!! =P * ada video pas jamm fest, video pas gw joget2 sambil nyanyi di rumah niruin gaya band nya si erman *gw lupa nama bandnya, pokoknya dia nyanyi lagu malay yang judulnya "kucing hitam" =p * dan pas gw niruin gaya si Bo pas lagi nyanyi lagu nidji yang biarlah.. sumpah norak abis gaya gw.. ckckck.. ga percaya gw bisa senorak itu! untung di rumah, jadi korban2 yang nonton cuma munie dan nia. dan itu kalo anak2 gw liat ntar pasti ga percaya emaknya bisa senorak itu =p * =D trus ada video pas gw ama nia lagi nyanyi2 lagu anak2, ada lagu potong bebek angsa, lagu satu2 aku sayang ibu. dan nia menyanyikannya dengan gaya goyang patah2.. *oopss!! sori nia.. kebongkar rahasianya =p * trus ada video makan2 di upten *jadi inget pas ke upten bawa2 video cam, pasti semua orang komentar kenapa kita bawa2 videocam..dan munie dengan muka tebal harus menjelaskan ama mereka, kita yang laen yang mo dishoot malah mesem2 aja.. hihi.. ksian munie =D * trus ada video pas jalan2 di KL gitu during my last days in uniten.. oh my God!! video itu bukannya bikin happy, tapi justru menyayat hati..*munie, this is the reason why i never watch the cd u gave me.. i've tried to watch it, but only listen to the background song, immediately i close it.. it hurts!!!* bukannya ga mau mengenang kenangan2 yang dulu, tapi i guess it's just not the time yet. gw masih sedih pisah ama temen2, trus langsung ngeliat video gt malah makin bikin sedih..jadi mendingan sekarang i calm myself down, baru deh ntar liat video2 itu.. i promise you i will watch it.. soon!! =p

for some ppl it's just a normal thing to have people come n go in their life. well, gw juga gitu. dari kecil gw tuh pasti pindah2 mulu.. ngikutin tuntutan kerjanya bokap yang juga pindah2. so, i never really have close friends. actually i did once, when i was 10, i stay in the same city with my best friend,we were goin to same school, hang out together and even sometimes she stays overnight in my house till i was 13, but then i moved and we never contacted each other.. pas smp dan smu juga gw punya temen2 deket *and one of my besties will get married soon ^_^ * tapi mungkin karena gw ngerasa temen2 di uniten tuh udah kaya keluarga gw. i was all alone in the new city, new country, with a different culture. they are my sisters, they are brothers, they are my friends, they are my family.. yah walaupun kadang2 gw tau mungkin pernah ngeselin juga *especially during the time when i was so sensitive, my mood swing easily.. duhh maap yaa..!! * tapi tetep aja gw sayang banget ama mereka. i was thankful to have them in my life. i have my best friends that i can share everything, my happiness and pain. dan gw bersyukur banget i have my friends beside me when bad things happen.. *thanks for listening all my crap stories, be my shoulder when i was crying, support me when i'm down and make me laugh again.. and munie, thanks for let me sleep at your house when i really was down during the hardest time and nobody was there at in the hostel to accompany me =) * so i just can say, thank you for everything.. i know i'm not a perfect friend, i can be silly or make you mad sometimes.. but i really hope that this friendship is not just another friendship in our life.. smoga aja kita tetep bisa jadi keluarga setelah semua punya jalan masing2. amin.. love you lots, my friends =)

*btw gw dah open blog ini.. jadi ga usah sign in lagi ya. huhuhuh.. =D

graduated.. convocation.. and move to sweden..!!!

alhamdulillah.. i have finished my bachelor degree n last sundays on 24 august 2008 i attended my convocation ceremony, which is amazing..!!! well, it's kinda funny bcoz i bought tickets for my parents n my sis. just the normal ticket, but when we arrived to the hall, the usherer took my family into the VVIP seat even though they have said that they just have the normal tickets. So, it was a bless because my family was sitting in the second row and they can see me clearly when i went to the stage and took my scroll. And i tell u, i'm so nervous when i'm walking to the stage, i'm soOo happyyy.. this is the event that i've been waiting for 5 years.. walking to the stage for taking my scrolls. When i shook the Vice Chancellor's hand, he was trying to do conversation with me, asking bout my home town.. and that took about few seconds for us to finish the conversation. hehe..

when i'm on the end of the stage, my Faculty's dean congratulates me and so does Mr.Charles, the head of International students office.. And as i walked to my seat, i cant stop smiling. i was so happy. and after the ceremony, i took soOo many pics with my friends and family. It was raining a bit, but still we were soOo crazy and taking pictures like everywhere in the campus.. and again, thank God that some worries that i had for this ceremony didnt happen. Alhamdulillah.. =)

The day after my convocation ceremony was another mark in my life, i fly to sweden. It was another amazing thing.. I'll start a new life in Sweden right after my convocation and the day i arrived in sweden was my 23rd bday!! my sis n bro in law fetch me up in Kastrup Airport, copenhagen n drove me all the way to Lund, Sweden which only take 45 minutes. And as i step into my sister's house, i saw bunch of roses was in the doorstep.. and it was my full name in the card, i wonder who will give me these beautiful roses on my first day in sweden. i know nobody but my sis n my bro in law here. i thought it was from a secret admirer of mine here *hahah. LOL* but then my sis were smiling n say it was from Bayu. I asked here, how could she know it and she said that Bayu was calling her to confirmed the address. When i opened the card, he wished me happy birthday with the name that nobody will ever call me that. So, i know it's from him. thanks a lot =)

So, i did my orientation last week. some informative briefing, meeting new international students and some seniors, went to Skane Lan trip *i'm soOo happy during the trip, it was my first trip in sweden!!! =p* and starts yesterday, i already have my lecture classes, which kinda funny bcoz i just attended my convocation ceremony last week and this week i have started going to class again..and yesterday was my first ramadhan in sweden, which take 16 hours to fasting in here during the autumn. so far everything is fine and hopefully it will always be. Alhamdulillah, i am so grateful for everything that Allah gave me.. hope that i will manage a great new life here. amin.. =)